Still Just A Rat In A Cage

The view from my apartment's living room

So it's been a while. Good to see you again. I lost my job. It was a temporary thing. I never meant to stay there for very long. But it still stings. I've since gotten a year older since I last saw you. A lot has happened. And a lot more still has not. And so I'm doing a lot of staring out of windows these days. Oh, and job hunting. And wondering where exactly I went wrong in my life. 

 And time has made me less of an optimist. But after bad times as after good times, as economists like to say, there is always a regression to the mean - and that's okay.

The Catalysis of An Ending

          What does it say about me that I choose to remain in an emotionally unfulfilling relationship?

Inverse Proxemics

                                              

           If I am of no comfort to you, if my presence provides no solace - what purpose do I serve? 

                                                      

Why am I here? 

Painting from here

I've missed my wittle bloggie blog. Sorry, I haven't had much to write about recently. My banal existence has offered very little that qualifies as fodder for a blog, but when has that stopped anyone from 'writing'? This past weekend I met up with some great people and that was the highlight of my week. We all met up down in the Tampa Bay area to go to the beach and just hang out. If you've been reading my posts regularly and are at all perceptive, you may have noticed that I had become rather lonely and bored in this little hick town. Which is why I'm overjoyed that I've reconnected with some old friends from Cebu. People whom I've hung out with fleetingly in the past, I've gotten to know a little better here and now; and I have to say I like what I see. Being something of a loner, I never used to really care much about friends. That sounds rather harsh, I know; don't get me wrong - there are a handful of people I would risk serious bodily harm for, but in the past I had always felt like people were expendable, like I didn't have  to have them in my life. But these ones I think I'll keep. I hope so, anyway.

Khalil Gibran said  "In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds it's morning and is refreshed."  And I feel quite refreshed.

*On another note, all you emo bloggers (ohh, you know who you are).I know the post about lovers was supposed to be up around Valentine's, but... Tee-hee, I'm so sorree. I've been so terrible. So. There's this silly little story I started when I was still in Cebu, will post soon. Need to finish writing it as the first draft was rather Anais Nin- inspired and I don't know if I'm ready to show that to people. Blah, blah. I PROMISE I'll catch up soon.

**On yet another note, I'm battling a bad case of the hives right now. Seriously - generalized urticaria. I suspect a St. Pete Pale Ale is the culprit. Whatever. Thank goodness for prescription-strength antihistamines.

Square Peg Round Hole

The secret lives of the simple-hearted

The hopeful hearts of the undeparted

Death, taxes; square peg, round hole

Neither of us able

To fathom the other's soul.

to be continued...

Ears

High And Dry by shaffah


Your ears
My dears

Do more

Than hear

They hold 

Your earrings, too.

Why, they keep your hair out of your sick;

That's commendable enough.

But perhaps 

More kindly,

When you've fallen

Rather blindly

And you lie 

And you sigh

And you wonder oh, god why

You've been left

High and dry

(Again)

Your ears,

The dears

Will always be kind

As to hold for you 

Your tears.

image from here

Lazy Madness

 

These little earthquakes -

Crash, clatter, shatter, bang. 

Denials, betrayals

What is the truth?

The truth is you shake me. 

Where is it, hmm?

In the details? In the missing?

In the weakness of the willing?

Or in the waiting

In the places it's shared

Or those moments it's spared? 

In the intangible?
In what you feel but don't say?
In the wild, the ephemeral?
Or the solemn and staid?

All is true.

Love is...here.

Madness, too.



image from here





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